Its been 6 months now

Its been 6 months now,
and what's more painful is the lessening pain.
Somehow, before, all the tears felt so right;
like righteousness on Sundays.

I cry less,
and scream out less;
on the outside.
Which makes me sadder on the inside.

Funny I guess.



I guess I still feel like we have these silent conversations.
These vague memories that revolve in my mind like a favorite record.
I know its just me and my thoughts,
but they're like intangible trophies that I would give my life for.

These bench mark beams like lighthouses shining brightly;
my memories of you flow in like the tide.
And out again as I forget again,
the cycle of every night.

The tide always comes back in,
just like the memories,
and one sided conversations,
my old friend.

I remember when you talked about buying a little house.
I believed in you.
I knew you were a fighter.
I dreamed the best dreams for you, like a good brother does.

Now sometimes, in the record of my mind,
I imagine you in that little house,
somewhere in Marysville I suppose.
I just don't know where it is.

You must have got a new number,
and I must not know your address.
But sometimes I dream that for you.
Though the dreams mostly for me, I suppose.

I miss you buddy.  With all my heart.