How to be Extremely Angry with Good Form

         My mischievous printer reminded me all too well today of how much I love (and sometimes envy) the scene from the movie "Office Space."  The irate office workers take their copy machine out to a field and teach it a lesson by completely annihilating it with a baseball bat.  My inner tranquility would typically give Ghandi a run for his money.  On the rare occasion my inner peace does get breached, though, I do try to leave baseball bats out of the equation.  Getting angry is easy, but controlling anger can be a bit trickier.  Here's a few ways I have found to healthily handle moments of extreme outrage:

1.  Punch things that can't break.  Have you ever broken a kleenex?  Of course not.  I would know, because I've been trying for years.  Kleenex, paper, napkins and the like, are some of my favorite things to take my anger out on.  They also make for a nice slow moving target when you throw them up in the air and give them a good right hook as they're slowly falling... just make sure no one is standing nearby that may fall victim to your impassioned Rocky impression.



2.  Fake Swear.  Call me old fashioned, but I find people that don't filter their language typically can't filter their language, even when they want to.  Profanity, in and of itself, doesn't offend me but I find it's often used in bad form.  To practice control of the almighty vocal rudder, try making up fake swear words when you're angry.  Pretty much any word said with the right amount of force can provide relief.  Take the Fantastic Mr. Fox, he often uttered, "What the Cuss!"  This is the perfect example of letting the tongue loose while not having to worry about embarrassing yourself in mixed company.  Make up what feels good to you, though.  If real swearing just comes all too natural, you may need to have a conversation with your environment about who is influencing who.

3.  Break Stuff that doesn't matter.  Have an outburst that requires more than kleenex punching?  Make sure you reach for something you don't care about.  Yes, throwing your computer at the wall is often times extremely tempting, but there are better substitutes.  I find that stabbing a pen into my notepad with such force that the tip snaps off is a much less regrettable alternative.  I'm not trying to devalue writing utensils here.  Especially a good quality ink jotter.  But, if it's the 9th free promotional pen that you've received this month, then I'd say the sacrifice is worth your mental health.

Thanks for reading.  I hope with these tips the results of your next outrage will be pleasantly fulfilling, yet inconsequntial.

Your 2 Cents:  How do you handle being extremely angry?