Hungry for Hunger

I'm sad that I'm not sad right now.
Although, I am glad that I am glad.
However that works.
I just find I'm more inspired to write when I'm down.

Today was a pretty good day, though.
Unfortunately.  Even though I'm glad about it.
Good days don't inspire profound thoughts, though, you see.



My business is finally picking up now that the Holidays are over.
The listless lull's of discontentedness that I learned to appreciate, are lessening.

I remember one time, when I told my friend David that after getting into Real Estate I had not sold 1 house in 6 months.  Hadn't made a stinking penny.
"Awesome!" was his response.  He got it.

Peaks only tease our falsely inflated ego's.
It's the valleys where the shaping takes place.
(and the switchbacks in between the valley's and peak's; for the birds)

When it comes to artistic endeavors, I just don't think I could ever handle being a non staving artist.
I'm too hungry for hunger.
I need to feel those empty valley's within me.
All my inspired words come from my brokenness.
Realizing my bitter distance from the nearest peak in life.
I know God's presence abounds no matter what.
That life is full in him.
It's just tough to see the light when your engulfed in it.
How can you see a peak beautifully when you're standing on it?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for those times.
I'm glad to be glad.
The light can just be blinding when you're in it.
When your on the peak you have nothing to hunger for.
When you're far from it, you know where to head.
You have a direction.

My humanity just lacks perspective.

Today I am whole.
And in my wholeness, life is incomplete.

No.
In my incompleteness, I am complete.
No matter which way my limited mind may see it.
No matter how sad I am to not bed sad,
or glad I am to be glad,
I can still hunger for the light from peaks.
In fact, I must.
It's just the human existence.
Oh well.  
Maybe tomorrow will get worse, and then I will have something to write about.